I was thinking about this the other day.
Why is it that my bra and panties will scorch the purity and innocence from your retinas, but my swimsuit remains perfectly acceptable in public?
I think we must gauge the propriety of clothing by its reaction to water.
Bra and panties + water = BOOBZ AND SHTUFF
whereas
Swimsuit + water = Yawnfest '09
Thus, we can conclude that societal norms, for the most part, are fucking dumb. So let the gays marry already. Here is why:
- Marriage is not a heterosexual privilege, but a human right.
- Gay weddings > straight weddings
- The world would EXPLODE with fabulous.
Besides, these idiots (just to name a few) have emptied their bowels on the "sacrement" of marriage, making it about as sacred as the hair I pulled out of my shower drain this morning.
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| Hey ya'll! We accidentally got married for 55 hours! |
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| Together we have an IQ of 14 and 72 days of marriage! |
Sometimes I don't want to live on this planet anymore, but then I remember that those fossilized men and women of the state and federal legislatures will eventually die, and then I have hope again.
Hope looks a little something like this:
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| Success! |
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| D'aw. |
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| Cartier? Are you kidding me? So fabulous. |
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| Respect your elders. |
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| Be still my bleeding American heart. |
Good God, I love gay people.
If you love gay people so much, why don't you marry them?
ReplyDeleteI CAN'T, GILMORE.
DeleteThat, and for the same reason I can't marry mexican food and Scrabble.