Thursday, May 31, 2012

Phat Ass Food for Thought

Forgive my untimeliness, but I can't stop thinking about this video. I think that the message should resonate with everyone (assuming you have a soul, of course).


"First of all, let’s clarify what the NASA budget is. Do you realize that the $850 billion dollar bailout, that sum of money is greater than the entire 50-year running budget of NASA? And so when someone says, 'We don’t have enough money for this space probe,' I’m asking, no, it’s not that you don’t have enough money, it’s that the distribution of money that you’re spending is warped in some way that you are removing the only thing that gives people something to dream about tomorrow."

Seriously, friends. As an American, you should be proud of NASA. As an intelligent American who cares about the future, you should be fighting for the funding of NASA and its role as the cradle of scientific advancements and discoveries (among many other things). 

And it's relatively easy to help, too.

This may be an outrageous suggestion, but writing your congressmen is better than sitting on the Internet and whining about how your own thumb is up your own ass. If the progression of humanity means anything to you, then you'll stop this endless circlejerk of agressive slacktivism and do something about the future of NASA in the United States.

Now go outside and say thank you to the Earth. Neither of us will be here forever, you know. (Especially us mortals with our paltry 70-ish year lifespan. Ha. That's laughable.)

The newest addition to my living room.
Home sweet home, indeed.


"We came all this way to explore the moon, and the most important thing is that we discovered the Earth." 
-Astronaut Bill Anders, Pilot, Apollo 8

@georgiaOqueef

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Eye Candy


Salutations!

Gawk at this super cool shit.

That, my friends, is the surface of the sun. Sexy.
Well, that's depressing.
Our neighboring galaxy in UV light - Andromeda. What a BABE!
My hero Christopher Hitchens in his element.

El Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia
The International Space Station over Earth.

Sunset on Mars


Fuuuuuuck, indeed.
Oh, George.
Word.

This one's a side-splitter.
If you've never heard of PBF comics. GO NOW.

Oh, Kurt.
Musical wordplay

SO PUNNY
Massachusetts Street 


So much prominence that your head will explode

Big Jay McNeely gettin' real-y.
Oh, just a shirtless Albert Einstein.




Friday, May 25, 2012

God Save the Gays


I was thinking about this the other day. 

Why is it that my bra and panties will scorch the purity and innocence from your retinas, but my swimsuit remains perfectly acceptable in public?

I think we must gauge the propriety of clothing by its reaction to water. 

Bra and panties + water = BOOBZ AND SHTUFF
whereas
Swimsuit + water = Yawnfest '09

Thus, we can conclude that societal norms, for the most part, are fucking dumb. So let the gays marry already. Here is why: 
  1. Marriage is not a heterosexual privilege, but a human right. 
  2. Gay weddings > straight weddings
  3. The world would EXPLODE with fabulous.


Besides, these idiots (just to name a few) have emptied their bowels on the "sacrement" of marriage, making it about as sacred as the hair I pulled out of my shower drain this morning.

Hey ya'll! We accidentally got married for 55 hours!
Together we have an IQ of 14 and 72 days of marriage!

Sometimes I don't want to live on this planet anymore, but then I remember that those fossilized men and women of the state and federal legislatures will eventually die, and then I have hope again.

Hope looks a little something like this:

Success!

D'aw.

Cartier? Are you kidding me? So fabulous.

Respect your elders.

Be still my bleeding American heart.



Good God, I love gay people.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

FIRST!

Good evening, friends.

I'm not very good at this blogging thing because, unlike most of humanity, I overanalyze my thoughts and worldviews until I have none to share at all. That said, I'll just start by sharing something I love:

A SUPER FUCKING EPIC (partial) SOLAR ECLIPSE

Yes, friends. That is a solar eclipse. In KANSAS, nonetheless. While it was only partial, it still hollows out my chest and reminds me that I'm nothing but glorified mold on some lucky terrestrial surface.

Why?

Because the gravitational waltzes of the moon and planets around the Sun don't give a fuck about your retweets and Facebook likes nor does it empathize with your petty and childish grumbles about that bitch who talked shit about some other bitch who screwed some dude at some frat. Hell, it doesn't even care that you're alive. In fact, if any astronomical body had feelings, it would probably collide with your stupid face for having such a disgusting sense of entitlement. 

That said, please enjoy this delightful image of our friendly neighborhood satellite eclipsing our favorite blazing ball of hydrogen. 

And as always, remember you're going to die.

@boxersorqueefs